The Christian life is not meant to be lived alone.
The New Testament repeatedly calls believers to live in deep, committed, Christ-centered relationships—loving one another, serving one another, forgiving one another. This series is about what it actually looks like to follow Jesus together.
In our last article, we considered what it means to be devoted to one another in brotherly love. But genuine Christian love does not stop at affection. Love must take visible form in the way we treat one another. That leads us to the second half of Romans 12:10:
“Give preference to one another in honor.”
There is a subtle sin that hides in many of our relationships: the desire to be noticed, appreciated, listened to, and valued more than others.
We may never say it aloud, but the fallen heart naturally wants to be first. We want recognition. We want appreciation. We want others to consider us important. Even in the church, pride can quietly sit beneath outward kindness.
But the gospel confronts that instinct head on.
Christian love does not merely seek to be honored. It seeks to honor others.
Love That Looks Like Honor
To honor someone means to assign weight, value, and significance to them. It means you do not treat them as an interruption, a burden, or background noise. You treat them as someone worthy of careful attention and sincere regard.
Paul goes further than simply saying, “Honor one another.” He says we are to give preference to one another in honor. In other words, we are to take the lead in it. We are to be eager in it. We are to go first.
The Christian should not wait to be honored. He should be busy honoring others.
This is one of the clearest ways love becomes visible in the church. It is easy to speak about love in broad and sentimental terms. It is much harder to consistently place others ahead of yourself. Yet that is exactly what Scripture commands.
The Gospel Humbles Us
This command appears in the flow of Romans 12, just after Paul calls believers to present their bodies as living sacrifices to God (Romans 12:1). That connection matters.
Proper worship of God always affects the way we treat people. You cannot truly bow before the greatness of God while remaining proudly consumed with yourself. When the mercy of God grips the heart, self begins to move off the throne.
The proud heart says, “Notice me.”
The renewed heart says, “How can I serve you?”
The flesh craves applause. Grace delights to give it away. This is why humility is so essential in the Christian life. Pride poisons relationships. Humility strengthens them. Pride divides. Humility unites. Pride demands attention. Humility gladly gives it.
Where We Often Miss It
Many ordinary conversations reveal more about our hearts than we realize.
We ask someone how they are doing, but only long enough to turn the conversation back to ourselves. We listen briefly, then begin speaking at length about our own burdens, our own schedule, our own concerns. We may appear engaged while quietly waiting for our chance to speak.
Even in church life, it is possible to be surrounded by people while remaining deeply self-centered.
We can want the seat of honor. We can want appreciation for our service. We can quietly resent when others are recognized while we are overlooked.
But this command turns the spotlight away from self. It teaches us to say, “This person matters. This person bears the image of God. This person is my brother or sister in Christ. Let me treat them accordingly.”
That kind of thinking changes relationships.
What Honor Looks Like
Showing honor is often simple, but it is never small.
It means listening carefully when someone speaks. It means rejoicing when another believer is blessed instead of envying them. It means thanking those who serve quietly and receive little attention. It means speaking well of others rather than competing with them.
It means noticing the overlooked, welcoming the lonely, encouraging the weary, and valuing people who can give you nothing in return.
Honor asks a different question than the flesh asks.
The flesh asks, “How am I being treated?”
Honor asks, “How can I make much of others instead of constantly making much of myself?”
That kind of life shines brightly in a self-promoting world.
Look to Christ
No one showed honor like Jesus Christ.
The eternal Son of God took the form of a servant. He washed feet. He welcomed children. He touched lepers. He made time for the weak. He moved toward the forgotten. He stooped low for those who could never repay Him.
Philippians 2 reminds us that He humbled Himself even to the point of death on a cross.
The One most worthy of honor gladly lowered Himself to serve sinners.
And now those who belong to Him are called to walk the same path.
Start Here
Ask yourself honestly: Do I prefer myself in conversation? Do I crave recognition? Do I notice others, or am I mainly occupied with myself?
Then choose one believer this week and intentionally show honor.
Call them. Encourage them. Thank them. Ask thoughtful questions. Rejoice in their growth. Speak well of them in front of others.
Make someone else “weigh heavy” in your heart this week. Because this is how the gospel reshapes relationships.
When a church learns to honor one another, pride loses ground, love grows warm, and Christ becomes visible among His people.